Disintegration
by cronaSE
Summary: You thought Death the Kid was the only one with the mental disorder. I don't own Soul Eater.
1. Disintegration

One, two, three, **four.**

Walk, walk, walk, **walk.**

Fake, fake, fake, **fake.**

Must be _**p e r f e c t.**_

Not being perfect = _death_.

Must not _d i s a p p o i n t._

Disappointing = _alone_.

What's your **favourite** number?

Four, four, four, **four.**

Yes, yes, yes, **yes.**

He _moved_ out.

Now all alone.

_**No one**_ to **judge** _me_ or **laugh** _at me_ or **point fingers**_ at me_.

Alone, alone, all alone, **sweetly all alone.**

They **thought** I was ill.

Ill, ill, **ill, **_**i l l**_**.**

I laughed.

They were **s o **funny.

Ha ha ha **ha**

_**D a y s**_ went on.

It got **worse.**

Germs were _**e v e r y w h e r e.**_

_So gross, gross, gross, __**nastily gross.**_

Everything MUST be clean.

otherwise **i would d i e.**

Doors were** next.**

**Ward off the sprits.**

Spirits, the spirits, spirits, _**the demonic spirits.**_

Open doors one, two, three, **four**

**Then** going in.

Closing the **same way.**

Shoes in **right order.**

_**M u s t **_be or I **die.**

_Die__**, die, DIE, D I E**_

_**M U S T **__be P e r f e c t._

_Then the _Voices.

'**You aren't doing it right.'**

_'Do it Perfectly!'_

_**I ' m s o r r y.**_

_'FIX IT'_

_**'You are a disappointment.'**_

_**H e l p m e.**_

_'Go die'_

**'You deserve to be punished.'**

_**P l e a s e s t o p t h e m.**_

Am I turning into **H** I **M**?

'Fix everything'

_**'What's your favourite number?'**_

_(One, two, three, __**four.**_

_Talk, talk, talk, __**talk.**_

_Pain. pain, pain, __**pain.**__)_

It's four.

Yes it's four.

One,** two, **_**three, **__**four I DIE**_


	2. Procrastination

Shakingsweatingcrying

_it's all normal_

**bloodtearsvomit**

_it's nothing to worry about._

**DON'TLOOKATHER**

_Ignore her walking past you._

Forget about the girl she used to be;

You can't love her anymore; **forget about it.**

**NO! DON'T LOOK INTO HER EYES.**

Ignore the sadness in them,

**pretend **that she is fine.

Carry on like it's normal_._

_(seethoseshakinghands?)_

Yeah? **Ignore them.**

_(?)_

Yeah? **Pretend you don't.**

_(whataboutthevomitinherhair?)_

**NO! **_She doesn't want to be found out._

(_andthebloodonhertop?)_

**NO! **_She likes to make believe that she's invisible._

Bones! _Skin and bones._

**No. **She just wanted you to _l o v e _her.

It's too late now.

_She's fading. _Falling. **Gone.**

_(ILOVEYOU)_

It's too late now.

_(IALWAYSLOVEDYOU)_

Should have told her **sooner.**

_Dreamsfadeintoone_

**she's gone.**

You never got that chance

_and now it's over._

Maybe he should have **s-c-r-e-a-m-e-d **it out;

**I LOVE YOU**

Maybe... _just maybe;_

he could have saved her.


	3. Perfectionisim

Hey, thanks to everyone who reviewed!

* * *

_(Stupidgirl)_

The voice **p o u n d s **in her head,

_Echoing. Echoing. Echoing._

She winces a little; wishing it would stop.

_(Fatfatfatfat)_

She's standing in front of the **mirror,**

_Shaking. Crying. Wishing._

**Why can't I be just like her?**

Her head shakes,

_maybehewillneverloveher_

Her heart thumps,

**Can you hear it?**

(_takeagoodlookatyourself)_

The **mirror;** _it lies._

But she doesn't know that.

The mirror tells lies and says I'm **u g l y**

(_willyourememberme?)_

Ugly. Fat. Stupid. Drama Queen.

Worthless, silly _little girl._

Tears are falling, sobs can be _heard._

Dark blonde locks **fall **to the ground,

_Scissors _roughly hacking at the once _long _hair.

Tears **d r o p** onto the hard floor,

A _smile _plays on her delicate lips.

_(skeletonskeletonskeleton)_

Her eyes close, **b l o o d **drips down,

mixing with the tears.

_I love you, why can't you love me too?_

She lifts up her top,

hand on her stomach.

_Hipbone. _Check. _Ribs. _Check. _Collarbone. _Check.

_Do you love me yet?_

She puts her hand on her chest,

Is her heart still beating?

A nod of the head, more tears.

_Yes it is._

_Onetwothreefourfive_

Take a deep breath.

_Sixseveneightnineten_

Pretend you **e n j o y **being alive.

Everyday is a fight

It just keeps getting harder.

_When will it all end?_

**When will she be okay?**

**DO IT!**

**DO IT NOW!**

She listens to the voice,

_never _being able to believe it was in her head.

**GO!**

Her head nods as she wipes the **t e a r s **away.

The porcelain bowl in front of her;

so beautiful to her; so plain.

**Knees **_hit _the floor

Tears _drip _into the bowl.

She lets her head drop almost shamefully

**DOITDOITNOW**

_herhandsliftup_

**the tears finally stop**

and then the vicious cycle _continues_

**oncetwicethreetimes**

**MOREMOREMOREMORE**

The voice is screaming now,

and she knows that she can do **b e t t e r**

**WORKHARDERWORKHARDER**

She finally stumbles up,

catching her reflection in the mirror.

She doesn't know the girl in the mirror,

nobody does _anymore._

**Liz? **_Liz who?_

_It's Elizabeth now._


	4. Paranoia

Am I going insane

I need to see someone

_(Pickupthephonelittlegirl)_

What if they will hate me?

I can't bother them

They will not like me if I don't leave them be

What if they hate me and I don't know?

_(Theysaythatthey'reyourfriends)_

"What's wrong with you?"

"Can't you see that I'm busy?"

_**S o r r y**_

_(Theypushyouaway)_

"Go away."

"You're distracting me."

_**O k a y I w i l l**_

_(Thentheylureyouin)_

"No, you're always welcome."

"Can you come over?"

_**W h a t ' s g o i n g o n**_

_(Thentheycrushyou)_

"Go, now. Get out."

"Leave me alone."

_**B u t y o u s a i d t o c o m e**_

(Thenfinallytheytearyouapart)

"Come over."

"Get out."

_**W h o d o I l i s t e n t o**_

_(Listentonoone)_

( L i s t e n t o n o o n e )

_( L i s t e n t o n o o n e )_

_**( L i s t e n t o n o o n e )**_

_**( L i s t e n t o n o o n e )**_

_**I G E T I T ! I s h o u l d l i s t e n t o n o o n e.**_

I will listen to no one.

* * *

** In the epilogue I will be naming anyone that can guess the different character in each chapter. So please review with the character you think the chapter is about.**

***The characters I will be doing are: Maka, Soul, Crona, Liz, Patti, Black Star, Tsubaki, and Death the Kid. Kid will NOT have OCD as his disorder.  
*Some characters will be used twice. **

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed. **


	5. Confusion

[she won't ever return]

The alarm.

It **screeches.**

And smoke swirls from the windows.

Outside the building,

Friends huddle together.

One cries **black** tears: smoke filled tears that cloud her green eyes.

The two boys stand shaken and **unshaken **_a__t the same time_.

Next to them,

Two sisters and their friend.

The **eldest**, crying.

The youngest, quiet for once.

The friend stands **unshaken**.

He must be strong **for those** **who are not**.

Others scatter the street.

**A girl** comes running.

_I saw the smoke__**.**_

She stops: **shaken**.

But she **refuses** to let the tears come.

A hand over the mouth—gasping.

**And** the flaming building **crumples** to the ground.

_She__** screams.**_

Two of _her friends_ come to comfort her.

But she shakes her head.

**And runs into** the **fire**.

_She's __**gone**__ now._

She's not coming back now.

The immature boy will **never** play with fire **again**.

He will never play at all.

She **will** never come back.

**She** won't ever **return** **from** the **fire**.

But why did she run?

**No one will ever know.**

::  
[Screeches black unshaken eldest (_unshaken for those who are not_). A girl, shaken, refuses, and crumples. Screams, and runs into fire: gone. Never again will she return from fire. No one will ever know.]

* * *

**Hey, thanks for reviewing! In the epilogue you guys will find out who guessed right, so sorry for the wait.  
Oh, and the third chapter(for anyone who couldn't guess) is Liz. Sorry for spoiling it but my friend who proofread it thought it would be a nice touch and that the chapter sounded a lot like Maka but I wanted it to be Liz so, again, sorry.**


	6. Failure

**Don't own Soul Eater.**

* * *

If you had only **l o o k e d**

_(Insteadofatthebutterfly)_

If you had only _s e e n_

_(Andwarnedher)_

It wouldn't have happened

It couldn't have happened

Just a m o m e n t sooner

A moment later

It came so fast

A blink of an eye

She was there

Skipping across the street

**_H a p p y_**

_(youfailedher)_

You were there

Following her trail

**It hit**

She was gone

Physically, mentally, figuratively

_**It hit**_

A yellow car, sickeningly bright

It came swerving and swirling

**_It hit_**

Quick as it was there it left

It was gone

You were standing, frozen

_(Andohsohelpful)_

And she was there

Lying there

You run and run and run

To her

Her small frame lay splayed across the road

Upon the cold _**merciless**_ asphalt

You stroke her soft hair

Golden blond streaked with crimson

Her eyes once a deep joyful blue

Sit now on her _paling_ face

They were ice, lifeless

_(Theyscareyou)_

You caress her white cheeks

Your hands bloodied, bright red

_(It'ssuchaprettycolor)_

From the pool beneath her body

Your hands leaving tracks

Leaving s t r i p e s

Red and white

Bright red, unnatural white

The _ghost_ of her smile

Etched upon her face

They have arrived

People

Noise

The hustle and bustle is nothing

You're still alone

They pull you from her

Your heart ripping along the way

The moment, too late

The tires of the ambulance screech

A harsh reminder of where you are

_(Andwheredidyouthinkyouwere)_

What you are

You're here

You're alive

_(Andyouwoulddoanythingtoswich)_

So now as you sit

Still alone

Where no one would look

_(ButHer)_

Because no one else knew

_(ButHer)_

You sit

In the pouring rain

Drowning

The sky grey

**Black** and grey

No more blue

Deep joyful blue

You slump there in regret

Of four words the will **_f o r e v e r_** remain

_(Youmeanhauntyou)_

I failed my sister

* * *

**Sorry for taking so long, I had a author's block. If any of you have an idea you want to share, feel free to PM me it (just make sure to include who it can be used for)**


	7. Indecisiveness

I can see you **walking **down the streets.

You aren't aware of how **lucky** you are,

of how **easy** it is to become like me.

Shinigami gave me this **assignment** in hopes that you would get better.

The professor who made me like this,

is **waiting** **_for you._**

**_All of you will become his experiments._**

I'm trying to_ **SAVE YOU**** from him,**_

In the only way I can.

You have to become like me.

But I'm still watching you.

**ALL OF YOU.**

You are fighting with _him_ again,

something about _him_ being lazy.

**You** are trying to win against the samurai,

**_She_ is the only thing keeping you alive.**

**And you, you are worrying again,**

**She **is getting fustrated, _She_ is laughing... again.

How I **wish** I could still be like you.

I'm watching all of you and thinking I should just free you now.

But that's not the kind of man I **was**.

* * *

Thanks to JaKiwi for the idea. This person is not in the character list of course. Sorry for not updating, I had a writer's block.


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